HighCastle

impressioniste:

“Don’t ever leave.”

Welcome to ‘Leah Sobs Grossly and Babbles Over Stupid Anders Things’ Corner.

I love this whole stupid scene. I don’t love it despite the stupidity, I love it because it’s stupid, and because they’re so overblown and melodramatic and goofy and utterly awkward because that is what this kind of love is, highlighted by that childish silliness and naive sense of drama and desperation.

Especially when you’ve lived your whole life believing it’s something you’ll never be allowed to have, and suddenly the impossible is not only possible, but reality.

Love isn’t rational. It doesn’t make sense, and it can’t be reasoned with.

It just is.

And I love these animations, the facial expressions (tiny little curves of skin and muscle, brows knitting together, a wrinkle or two marring an expanse of smooth forehead, the crinkling at the corners of the eyes, the tiny upturned bit of a smile), but I hate the gross red-orange filter that’s all over every inch of them in the actual gameplay and original screenshots.

[before & after 1] [before & after 2]

Perhaps somebody at the design studio took the whole ‘~afterglow~’ concept a wee bit too literally.

No wonder everybody in Kirkwall knew they were sleeping together. They could see them glowing from all the way outside the city walls.

And now it’s my bedtime, before I make even more of an idiot out of myself.

I’m right there with you, which is odd because I normally don’t fancy the saccharine-flavored romances so much. Yet here it works. Why? Well I think in large part it’s supposed to stand in contrast to Act 3 where Anders is distancing himself from Hawke. That withdrawal wouldn’t have nearly the same impact if Anders was always a slightly insular person. But instead we see him as someone who is dedicated and perhaps even a bit clingy. Thus his retreat sends up big, flashing warning lights that something is awry.

Impressioniste also hit upon one of my favorite aspects of this romance: it’s Anders’ first real shot at love. This is such a big part of why I love this arc. Anders went from being imprisoned and stealing what moments he could with his lovers. From what Wynne and Anders tell us about life in the Circle, he would’ve been raised believing that love is something for other people. Mages don’t get a shot at it, don’t deserve it. That’s a real damaging thing to someone’s psyche. And even in the Wardens, Anders was eventually betrayed and assigned a templar overseer, so he gave up any shot at happiness so he could become the avatar of the cause of mages.

Yet, despite all that, despite whatever psychological abuse he suffered in the Circle, despite his self-imposed chastity so he could focus on “more important things,” he still finds love. Is it any surprise that when he falls for Hawke, he falls hard? I don’t think so. This is the first time he’s ever been in love, the first time he’s ever been allowed to love. These emotions are so strong to begin with, and he’s feeling them for the first time as a grown man. It’s no surprise he acts a little giddy.

And that’s why it works. Anders overcame so much psychological conditioning to get to this point. He’s not a lovesick teenager, he’s a man who has been kicked and beaten (emotionally and physically), but at the end of the day it hasn’t shattered him. He can still feel these overwhelming, positive emotions when a different man might only be capable of hate. That’s a big thing, a powerful thing. It shows Anders isn’t completely broken or corrupt no matter what you think of his actions in Act 3. He still has the capacity to love someone deeply and completely.