L is for Lazarus
A/N: Phew! Just finished this one before midnight. Goal met. :)
L is for Lazarus
The air hangs heavy with sweat and musk. With his head pillowed on Shepard’s chest and his own heart rabbiting in his ears, Kaidan finally takes stock of the damage. They’ve twisted the sheets into some kind of bird’s nest beneath them and seeded the place with their clothing. A pair of boxers dangles from the lamp like an extra shade. Someone’s shirt—Shepard’s, maybe—drifts in lazy circles overhead, one sleeve caught on the blade of the fan. A breathless laugh wheezes from Kaidan’s lungs at the absurdity of it all.
“That bad, huh?” Kaidan hears the words more as a rumble beneath his head than words drifting to his ear, absorbs them through osmosis.
“Not even a little.”
His fingers trace the crosshatched scars over Shepard’s hipbone, a new addition, whether courtesy of Cerberus or the Collectors, Kaidan isn’t sure. Some answers are obvious, like the faint red pinpricks behind Shepard’s eyes. Those stem from more than simple battle wounds.
On Horizon, it was enough to pretend that Cerberus had only cobbled Shepard together from spare parts and memory. It was easier to believe than the alternative—that Shepard really had teamed up with the very people he’d fought to dismantle cell by cell, the people who’d tortured his friend, who’d lured the thresher maws to his unit on Akuze. That couldn’t possibly be the same man, only a clever facsimile assembled for no other purpose than to drive Kaidan slowly insane. Wasn’t it enough that he’d lost Shepard? Did he really have to listen to the exploits of his doppelganger, too? Listen to him do things the Shepard he knew never would?
But then other stories started to buzz through Alliance intelligence. Most of them tended to end with rumors of the Illusive Man seething because his new pet had a habit for biting the hand that fed him. Or in this case, the hand that’d brought him back from the dead.
Damn, that was such an odd thought. Surreal, really. Especially with Shepard hot and sticky and very much alive right here beneath him. Kaidan ran his thumb in idle whirls around Shepard’s navel.
“What happened on Horizon…” Beneath his palm, every muscle over Shepard’s stomach contracts. “…I should’ve had more faith in you. I guess…I lost you once. It was easier to believe that wasn’t really you down there. That it was some kind of Cerberus trick. Because otherwise…if I had to lose you again…”
Shepard doesn’t say anything, but the knots in his abdomen slowly untangle. After a minute, his hand falls on Kaidan’s head, weaving through his hair so he’s got something to hang onto. No words needed. The message comes through in perfect translation:I’m not going anywhere.
Neither is Kaidan. Not this time.
